A heartwarming letter to santa
By Mike Ashworth | December 16, 2009
Thankyou to Peter Jarrette, for this gem! Peter presents on Gossip TV and is also the driving force behind the Brighton Bible.
Little Trini girl’s letter to Santa (Warning - Language!)
Dear Santa,
I knows yuh probly wonderin why Ah writin yuh on Boxsing Day, but after opening meh presents and dem yesterday, I just had was to write yuh.
Santa Ah was a real good gyul all year rouund, Ah lissen to meh muddah when she talk to meh, Ah help out with house wuk, Ah even help de neighbor chilrren and dem do dey chaws too. Ah helped dat old Mr.George across de road when d oddah chilrren just watch him and leave him dey. Santa Ah study Hard in school dis year, so hard that ah come fuss in meh class..
Santa when Ah write meh Christmas List to yuh, ah axk yuh for a Barbie princess doll, a Barbie kitchen, a Dora the Explorer computer game and a monopoly. So, Santa…….how the fock after reading meh list you would leave under de Blasted Christmas tree ah shity focking light up Yo-Yo, ah muddacunt Plastic tea-set and ah focking no name dolly lookin like she have Polio. Santa is like yuh focking blind or yuh cyah read!
Every year Ah say ah would stop believing in yuh Focking ass and like ah Fool Ah does always give yuh a nex chance but not a Fockingain. Yuh Focking fat ass dead with Me, yuh hear what ah say, yuh dead. Ah go wait for yuh muddah ass next year, yuh better don’t try to squeeze yuh fat bolockscious ass thru meh louvres, because Santa Ah swear ah go Fock yuh up, it go be me, you and a Gauva wood.
Just imagine you give that little cokey eye, knock knee, muddacunt Nicole from across de road, erything that she axk for, till she doh even have room to walk around she house.
And Santa, yuh see You and dem Focking Reindeer and dem, allyuh better tink twice bout landing pon my house next year, especially dat Focking Red nose prick Rudolph, ah go Stone he muddacunt, yuh go have to walk back to d focking north pole when Ah done with dem. I swear nex year, ah waiting patiently for yuh fat Focking ass to come Ho-Hoin on mih galvanise roof . Ah go do fuh yuh, Ah promise..
Watch an see….
Love,
Kedeisha
2 Responses to “A heartwarming letter to santa”
Comments
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5:50 pm on December 16th, 2009
Addressed to ‘Santa’s Ghetto’?
Very funny read.
2:43 am on December 21st, 2009
Well, avarice is alive and well. Have I been redundant in my literacy? Well…there one goes again….